


Yet Another Sanders Sides Oneshot Collection

by authenticiTEA



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Has ADHD, Fire, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, building on fire, faking anxiety, physical violence, self hate, svs pt 2 spoilers, ts spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authenticiTEA/pseuds/authenticiTEA
Summary: Greetings! Here we have yet another Sanders Sides oneshot collection of things I'm writing and have written in the past. I've decided to post them so enjoy! You may request me to write things, though I can't guarantee that I will do them. I can try my best though!
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Request Form

_**Requests** _

_This is the part of the story where you may comment or make any suggestions!_

_Like I said in the summary,_ _I may not get to them or do all of them, but feel free_

_to request!_

_Ship: (platonic or romantic)_

_Wordcount:_

_Genre:_

_Prompt:_

_Extra Notes:_


	2. Prodosía / προδοσία

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Found you, when your heart was broke. I filled your cup until it overflowed. Took it so far to keep you close. I was afraid to leave you on your own. I said I’d catch you if you fall, and if they laugh then fuck them all, and then I got you off your knees, put your right back on your feet just so you can take advantage of me. Tell me how’s it feel sittin up there, feeling so high, but to far away to hold. You know I’m the one who put you up there, name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?”
> 
> \- Without Me, Halsey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Unsympathetic darksides (Vee, Rem, Dee)  
> Physical violence  
> Manipulation  
> Faking anxiety

The air was tense, the body was tense, and each of the sides were stiff as a board. No one ever expected Roman to make such an audacious claim about Virgil. It was /Virgil/ the fandom favorite, how dare he? The Prince remained firm in his accusation on the anxious side. He crossed his arms and looked at everyone, their gazes piercing through his eyes as if they were examining his soul. He wasn’t a monster. He was right. He may be stupid, but he knew danger and bad news when he saw it, and Virgil was bad news. His stance and aura had yet to waver under the intense disappointed look from Patton.

“How could you even say that, Roman? Weren't you trying to get better at not insulting him?” Questioned Patton, putting extra emphasis on the word “not” as his hands found their way to his hips. Ah, a typical dad move. “Besides you were doing so well kiddo! I could tell you were really trying, but...this? It seems kind of…” The father figure trailed off.

“No! I mean it when I say that Virgil isn’t as innocent as you guys think!” Roman said vehemently.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked, desperate for this all to end and getting frustrated with Roman and his attitude.

“He’s not who you think he is! He’s faking- please trust me-!” Before getting cut off by Patton.

“How dare you!” Patton exclaimed, not even letting Roman finish his thought. “Do you know how rude it is to claim a person is faking something Roman? He’s literally anxiety, are you also saying that Thomas is faking too? You can’t just say things like this!” Patton shut down the discussion before Roman could even bring up any evidence. He just stood there, baffled that Patton would yell at him.

“Just listen to me!” Pleaded the creative side- “He’s playing all of you!” But of course, he couldn’t get far in his discussions before Virgil’s “anxiety” tics started to surface.

“Anxious” pulling at his sleeve, pulling at his fingers, eyes darting to every focal point in the room, and pulling his hood up. Virgil was getting stressed out over the arguing and loud noises, especially Roman. Roman was making his “anxiety” worse. Virgil just grit his teeth and glared at Roman as he continued to crack his knuckles and fidget with his hands.

“Please! Just listen to me- he’s some kind of- what’s it called..” He was desperate to find the right phrase. He didn’t want to leave them hanging and take away from the urgency of what he wanted to say. Think, think , think- please - “Tropical Horse!” He exclaimed in a rush to finish his sentence in a rush. Seeing everyone’s faces made him think that it wasn’t the right word.

“I believe the term you’re looking for is a Trojan Horse, Roman.” Added Logan.

“Yeah, sure whatever, a Trojan Horse! He’s hiding something- something is wrong and it’s bad- he’s bad, guys-”

“Why don’t you listen to your own advice before calling me out? You never listen to me.” Virgil hissed. Walking over to Roman and staring him down. “Or better yet, mind your own damn business instead of trying to play hero and villain and pay attention to your own work. The stats on Thomas’ videos have been doing poorly. It’s your fault. You created shit, Roman.”

Roman paused, looked at Virgil, hurt, but the stubborn side wouldn’t back down that easily. He was headstrong and he had learned through Logan that a decline in numbers doesn’t necessarily mean a decline in public favor or poor work. He swallowed and held back any feelings of hurt or anger for now. He kept his head held high and closed the distance between him and Virgil. He was going to make a statement on how he was proud of his work, and as long as he’s happy with his work then it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s doing what he loved, but as soon as he was toe to toe with Virgil- he was slapped across the face.

For a moment he saw Virgil’s eyes. They were angry with him. Searing pain traveled from the point of impact to the rest of his face. Biting his tongue in an effort not to show weakness his hand went to touch his face. It was hot- it felt like fire. He looked at Virgil, the pure intent and purpose still lingered in his eyes. His head then whipped over to Patton and pointed at Virgil.

“Did you just see what he did to me? He physically hurt me- he-” Roman was trying so hard to be heard, to be listened to. He was a Prince, he wanted to keep his family from harm and he was destined to slay to beast figurative or literal.

“He’s fight or flight, Roman. You shouldn’t have cornered him.” Patton spoke up, gentle, but obviously not really seeing what was wrong with this picture.

“I must admit, that despite being the physical embodiment of anxiety, that is not an excuse for physical assault. Virgil has been aware of his anxiety for a while now and he should be held responsible for his actions. He has been given tools many times to assist and manage his anxiety. The physical repercussions for Roman’s actions were not appropriate.” Logan added, standing up for Roman.

The prince looked over to Logan and he felt a little better, but the fact that Patton was sympathizing with Virgil, pardoning him for violence, and insulting him was concerning. Wasn’t he supposed to be morality? He just looked at them all and sunk down to tend to his face.

*

The next several instances were cruel. Roman grew scared to speak up now. Every time he tried to say something about how Virgil’s behavior was suspicious, how he still believed he was a dark side, Patton always sided with Virgil, and Virgil always responded back in cruel words or violence, and Logan did his best to stay neutral, but Roman was growing quiet. He lived in fear of Virgil. Virgil didn’t represent fear, Virgil wasn’t fearful, but Virgil did inflict fear onto others. Roman was now doing a video with the other sides, and Virgil hurled an insult at Roman unprompted.

“Yeah, I mean, we haven’t done a video in ages, due to Roman’s incapability to produce meaningful and quality content.”

“You don’t know how hard it is! You do nothing! Logan and I do all the work while you and Patton only show up for the videos.” Roman was quick to defend himself.

“Don’t yell at me.” Virgil seethed as he balled up his fists, and of course this action didn’t go unnoticed by Roman.

“I can do what-“

Virgil’s gaze got more serious. Roman piped down and remained quiet for the rest of the video, not wanting to piss Virgil off. His attempts to warn the others became less frequent and as time went on it felt as if he was walking on eggshells around Virgil. He knew Virgil’s true nature. He knew who he was. He knew his real name, but he didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Was it even worth warning the others if no one listened to him? As soon as he left the video he went to his room to sit by his desk and looked at his binder filled with notebook paper, artwork, stories and video ideas. He stared at it for a while and he just thought of all the things that he has been told.

”Give it up, you’re done, you’re work is suffering, you can’t even come up with good ideas, this is stupid, you’re a bad creativity, Remus could create better work than this, this isn’t even creative, are you sure you represent creativity and not garbage, this doesn’t belong on YouTube...it belongs in the garbage can, this is worthless, you’re worthless, Roman come on, you can’t possibly have thought this was decent.”

Virgil’s voice echoing in his head, using that layered voice he does when he doesn’t give you a choice on if you listen to him or not.

After ruminating over all the cruel insult that has been said to him by Virgil every time he made something, suggested something, or even in retaliation to him attempting to exposing Virgil, he just gave up. He summoned a cement fire pit where his desk once was and he dropped the binder into the flames and watched all his ideas disintegrate. While he was at it he burned the rest of his art stuff, his paper, his acting awards, anything he felt like he was bad at. It burned. It burned into oblivion.

Roman wouldn’t create anything else. Patton never stood up for him. He never said anything to support him, Logan doesn’t understand the creative mind and he was constantly being berated by Virgil. Virgil was the only one who ever had opinions and things to say about what he had create and it was never positive. So, what’s the point if no one cares, and the only one who does care, wants his stuff to go in the trash. From that day he stayed in his room. He couldn't get insulted over things he hasn’t created.

Several months after that incident, Roman was in his room, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and he hadn't moved in days. He was worthless. Virgil said so. Whenever he went to Patton all he ever said was “Don’t listen to Virgil, he just has a bite because he’s anxious.” Yeah right...more like pessimism personified. People always say rocks can’t become smooth and pretty without being tossed over and thrown around under the roaring waters, but he felt like a great mountain eroded away to the base. Someone who once stood tall, proud, and great, reduced to nothing under the constant erosion of his personality. The harsh winds, weather, and constantly being walked on destroyed him. The once beautiful mountain was now cracked, weathered, and eroded.

He felt small, he was small. His voice was never heard and no one would heed his warning. He just laid in bed in silence, the silence in his room became a friend he could depend on. No matter what, he knew the silence would be there. Patton’s silence in aiding and sympathizing with Virgil, Logan’s silence in remaining neutral and staying as a bystander, and the silence of the entire world. He could scream, yell, and cry, but nobody listened. Silence was someone he’s grown to know. He was scared to speak out. He didn’t want to be attacked with words so cruel they chop off sections of his mountain. He didn’t want an avalanche of insults hurled at him whenever he tried to speak of an idea. He was tired of living with fear.

After 11 months of not posting, Virgil barged into his room, pulled him by the hair, forcing Roman to get up and walk with him, and threw him into the wall. Don’t make it worse. Whatever he’s mad about, don’t encourage it.

“You haven’t done anything useful in over a year, you really are good for shit, huh.” Virgil hissed, kicking Roman in the gut. “You’re taking too long for the next video, get it together you bitch.”

Roman had nothing left to lose, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be a victim to violence. He did have some self preservation. He kept silent. Virgil kept shooting insult after insult and Roman just took it. A truly devastating sight. Someone who was so headstrong, fallen into mere crumbs. After a good beating, Virgil left, dissatisfied with the reaction and left Roman with a broken arm, bloody nose, bruises everywhere, and internal bleeding.

None of this was new. It wasn’t uncommon for Virgil to get physical whenever he was mad, inpatient, upset or annoyed with him. Every time he went to Patton hoping the dad like side would do something, he always got the same answer. “He was just anxious, he didn’t mean to.” And then comparing him to a scared animal and Roman just scoffed. He was wrong. Virgil wasn’t innocent. Virgil physically assaulted him several times and had crafty insults personally tailored towards Roman’s insecurities. Virgil had outright said that Roman is the cause of his anxiety and that he can’t deal with him, and then Roman was the one who got lectured by Patton.

It was unfair. Life was unfair. He remembered one specific moment where they had to go to an audition and Virgil wasn’t in the mood. Of course, he pulled the anxiety card and wanted to stay inside, but Roman was frustrated and he wanted to go to the audition, so in a moment of impulsivity he shouted out

“No! This is important and-” He was interrupted by a swing from Virgil, which led into another “panic attack” and got the sympathy of Patton and left Roman as the “agitator” of it all. He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t! He didn’t do anything...He just wanted to go to the audition and he was tired of Virgil being a bitch.

However, Virgil won the battle against the prince. The once valiant and brave prince who led others into battle with honor and skill was defeated by a crafty Imp who tormented the forests. Rest In Peace, brave Prince.

One side pacified, two more to go. Though, they shouldn’t be as difficult to deal with like Roman. Roman was the priority, Roman knew the truth, Roman was right, Roman needed to be silenced. He needed to be pacified. Now he needed to move onto the next strongest. Logan was also stubborn as a mule, but he should be easier to break down. Logan should be an easy target.

*

Of course, As soon Roman was out of the picture, Remus immediately took his place. Standing in Roman’s old spot whenever Thomas called upon his sides for advice or to just talk about his day when his friends were busy or unavailable. With Remus hanging around near constantly, it made Patton feel immensely uncomfortable. His presence was looming, dark, and horrifying. The feeling of disgust, fear, and distress bathed and drenched him everyday. It was that stressful feeling when one is playing a horror game with suspenseful music and awaiting a jumpscare that never came. He was on his toes and constantly trying to combat these feelings which had become normal at this point.

Eleven months of dealing with Remus and it still wasn’t any easier. His...suggestions were horrific and his mere existence felt like nails dragging down on a chalk board in an agonizing way, amplified and prolonged to cause maximum discomfort. Of course Logan was usually there to provide insight and keep him and “anxiety” grounded in reality. However, the longer Remus was around the less and less Logan’s tactics seemed to be benefiting his two fellow sides. Patton was still deeply mortified by Remus and Virgil’s “anxiety” seemed to “spiral” and no one was listening to Logan.

During one of Virgil’s “episodes” Logan was doing his best to calm him down and assure Patton that they could make it through this together, but no one was listening to him. Patton continued to ramble on and on about how Thomas was becoming corrupted and a bad person and Virgil was “panicking” about Remus. He couldn’t handle this. He...he couldn’t handle this. He could always handle this kind of stuff. He could always deal with the dark sides, but control seemed to be slipping from his grasp as if he was trying to hold tight onto water. The water slipping between the spaces of his fingers and the tighter he gripped the more control slipped away from him.

“Virgil? Can you hear me?”

Nothing.

“Virgil, look at me. Can you breathe for me? Do you remember the pattern, in for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for ei-” Before Logan could even finish he was interrupted

“Just shut up already!” Virgil was being difficult again. He just closed his eyes tried not to let his temper get the best of him.

“I know you’re experiencing heightened anxiety right now, but breathing will-“

“Go away Logan- no one likes you.” Oh…Logan looked over to Patton to see if he would assist, but he didn’t say anything. His eyes spoke volumes though. They held eye contact for a fraction of a second, but so much information was relayed to him with one single look.

“Be still.” Patton’s eyes said, they looked at Logan and he knew. Be calm, don’t do anything brash, “Virgil didn’t mean it.” the eyes said. “It’s just his anxiety.” Logan was not one to deal with bullshit though, he still didn’t see what Roman meant by Virgil was faking, but he wasn’t going to be treated like this. He stood tall and looked over at the “anxious” side and spoke.

“Virgil- I know you’re experiencing heightened anxiety, but that’s not an excuse to be rude.” He said and Virgil glare had the heat of 10,000 suns and the sharpness of 500 needles. All focused on him. Logan did not waver. “It explains why you’re agitated and what you’re feeling is valid, but that doesn’t mean you can tre-“

A slap to the face. Logan’s own stare rivaled Virgil's as Patton came between them. He angered the beast and he suffered the price. He let Patton deal with Virgil as he went to the bathroom to check up on the injury. The pain wasn’t unbearable, it didn’t feel any worse than a stubbed toe, but man it was uncomfortable. With a sigh he pressed a cold washcloth to the site of his injury and looked at himself in the mirror. He thought more about what Roman has said, but that couldn’t be true. Anxiety shows up in everyone differently, and Virgil just happens to be on the “fight” side in regards to fight or flight.

However, one thing stuck to him.

“No one likes you.”

Was that true? Did no one like him? It wasn’t like it was an outlandish proposal. Virgil had also said that he was the least favorite and in regards to his role in recent videos...there hasn’t been that much for him to do. All he does is give exposition that the audience doesn’t care about. He wasn’t charming like Roman, loveable like Patton, or even edgy and relatable like Virgil. He stuck out. He stuck out with his polo and tie, formal vernacular, and general personality. Hell, it was seldom that Thomas even listened to him. No one ever listens to logic.

*

Logic endured, persisted, and continued to do his job, but as time went on, the less he spoke up. No one listened to him anyways, so what’s the point in speaking up if no one acknowledged what he had to say. He had a voice, he had a purpose. If he was meant to be quiet and less than, then why was he even here. He knew he had a purpose, but that fact was slowly turning into a concept. Something he hoped to be, an ideation as opposed to the truth. He felt useless. Every time he tried to help Virgil through his anxiety, calm down Patton, or even battle Remus it all just failed miserably.

Similar to Roman, Logan was headstrong, stubborn, and firm in his stances, but Virgil had chiseled away at the man he once was. Constantly being told that he had nothing important to say, that he was useless, no one wants to hear him blabber on, and that he wasn’t beneficial at all, dug at him until he was insecure in who he is. Every time he tried to help Virgil he was told to shut up and that he doesn’t know anything, after 3 months of Roman’s disappearance Virgil just straight up stopped listening to Logan, pretending that he couldn’t hear Logan, pretending that he didn’t exist, and refusing to even say his name or representation.

Whenever Patton talked to Logan, Virgil was being a huge dick and told Patton that there was no one named Logan and that he wasn’t a side. Logan had become completely ignored by both Virgil and Patton. Of course, Virgil had Patton wrapped around his fingers and he could get the moral side to do whatever he wanted. All it took was those stupid puppy dog eyes, a panic attack, and him acting pitiful for Patton to bend over backwards for him. After claiming that Logan wasn’t real and that he was just a hallucination manifested by anxiety’s subconscious, followed by a few panic attacks, and him saying that when Patton interacting with his hallucinations made him anxious, Virgil had gotten Patton to stop interacting with Logan all together.

What made it even better was whenever Logan was near, Virgil would feign panic and Patton would practically do the work for him. The dad constantly said

“Don’t worry, it's just a hallucination, it's not real. The real logic had died a while ago; it's just a hallucination.” Which damaged Logan’s psyche to an unholy extent.

Eventually he showed up less around Virgil and soon when Thomas summoned them. After a year of Roman’s disappearance he too dropped out from participating with the group. It just wasn’t worth it.

After he officially dropped out, his first instinct was to go to Roman’s room. He hadn’t seen him in over a year, he wondered if he was even still around. Would the mind palace get rid of sides it deemed inessential? Was Roman gone? Deep down he hoped that he wasn’t, but who knows. Nothing seemed to be worth it anymore. He was logic, he existed to be of benefit to Thomas, but he couldn’t even do that. Virgil was being a dick and Patton was blindly trusting him and he felt like the only other side who could offer him solace was Roman.

As he approached the door he noticed there was something wrong. The door was chipped, the doorknob looked so loose it could fall off, and the floorboard surrounding Roman’s room were creaky. What had happened to him? He opened the door, which could have fallen off it’s hinges at the slightest maltreatment. He was faced with a sight he never thought he would ever see. Roman’s room was the aftermath of a natural disaster. The man who was so adamant about keeping Thomas’ dirty underwear off the floor had food, trash, dirty clothes, ashes, and knocked over furniture on the floor, littering the entire room.

The most noticeable difference was the fact that Romans wall that used to be a mirror was completely opaque and blackened. He remembered when the side would gaze at himself in the mirror daily and practice facial expressions, acting, and dancing in front of the it. Now it was covered in darkness, cracks, and completely opaque. Roman was not okay. The mirror was like Roman...despondent and in despair. Hopeless. The old logical side kicked away the trash making a pathway to sit next to Roman on his bed, keeping his eyes one his shoes. What should he say? Everything was not okay, and it seemed like everything was hopeless with Remus, Virgil, and Deceit soon to follow suit now that he was out of the picture. He elected not to say anything.

No matter what he said or what he’d do it was always the wrong thing, besides, who’s to say that Roman wouldn’t get upset with him and yell at him to shut up and go away? Who’s to say that Roman’s wouldn’t lash out at him like the Virgil? He just laid there with the old creativity. The withered creativity and the decrepit logic. At least they had each other.

*

As soon as Logan left, Thomas’ life went to hell. Content changed drastically, his behavior shifted, and his heart became calloused. He pulled a complete 180, and now everything was burning to hell. Patton was overwhelmed with everything, trying to influence Thomas to apologize, make amends, and do the right thing, but with Virgil’s anxiety, Remus’s input, and Deceit’s whole character it was becoming unbearable, but he still loved Virgil. He believed he was capable of doing better. He thought that the presence of the dark sides were causing Virgil to spiral even more, because there’s no way his sweet, kind, dark strange son could be doing all of this intentionally .

He would never purposely hurt his family. He wouldn't purposely hit Logan and Roman. He wouldn’t intentionally battle with his words and sharp tongue. He wouldn’t… Patton trusted Virgil and he knew deep down that Virgil was good. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come to the light realm in an attempt to get away from the dark sides, right? He was looking to get better after Accepting Anxiety, right? He wasn’t doing this on purpose. If anything, Virgil was just having a relapse, right? Yeah! That’s got to be it. Virgil just had a setback in managing his anxiety, it wasn’t on purpose. How could he? Not his child… Virgil was better than that.

Meanwhile, Roman had learned to smile once again. He was sitting with Logan in his own room as they played a game of “Go Fish” on his bed. He was playing soft music in the background and he was able to find a life outside of being a core side for Thomas. He was away from Virgil, he was content in his room with Logan, occasionally spending time with him. The mirror that was once black and cracked was now in one piece, tinted black, and reflective once again. The crystal clear mirror had become a thing of the past and was now unobtainable, but Roman was satisfied with what he made of his life here with Logan.

“Do you have any kings?” Asked Roman, nonchalant, enjoying the game.

“Right in front of me.” Logan replied ,making eye contact with the former Prince.

Roman smiled, genuine and pure and he just shook his head. He felt like he was going to be okay here. He leaned forward trying to see what Logan’s cards were before he could the old logic hid his cards and gently pushed Roman away. It was quiet, Virgil was too busy controlling Thomas to give them a second thought, however, every now and then trauma would resurface or Virgil would actually come around and sour the mood, but they had each other. They were always there for each other. Whenever Roman felt less than and whenever Logan felt unneeded they had each other. It was them against the world above.

“Hey, I just remembered. What’s going on up there, do you know? When’s the last time you checked?” Questioned Roman as he pulled another card from the deck

“That is a great question. I’ll be back.” Logan stood up and was about to leave Roman’s room, but before he left he looked behind him “Don’t look at my cards.” He then left the room and popped up momentarily to check on how Patton, Thomas and the others were doing.

As soon as he rose up it was utter chaos. All the dark sides have gained control and wrecked Thomas’ life. He stayed out of trouble and then sunk out real quick to go check the recent memories of Thomas and what videos they have recently released. He watched five minutes of the new sanders sides with Deceit and Remus being active members and then he sighed. He checked Patton’s recent memories in dealing with the dark sides and it was all pointless. He couldn’t fight back, Roman couldn’t fight back, and Patton was just going along with everything. He wasn’t sure why, but he hoped that Patton was able to stay strong since he could not.

Logan went back to Roman’s room feeling defeated and sat back down on the bed. When Roman asked how everything was going Logan just sighed and shook his head.

“Yeah there’s no way we can face them anymore. Let’s go back to me absolutely destroying you in go fish.” He said, clearly not wanting to talk about that topic right now.

There was no use in fighting. Patton was too far gone, he saw the good in people all the time. So if Logan and Roman didn’t stand a chance against Virgil themselves, then how the hell are two of them supposed to reclaim the mind palace and help Patton see the truth? It was 3 dark sides and it was pointless and futile. He just continued on with the game he and Roman were playing, pretending that they were fine. They were severely hurt by Virgil, but if they don’t pay attention to it, it didn’t really happen. They were fine. Some days they were barely alive, but when they both wake up feeling okay with themselves and feeling well enough to play a game or two, then it was fine. They were fine. They were hurt.

*

Patton didn’t see it coming. After spending 5 months alone with Remus, Virgil, and Deceit he just felt small. He was desperately clinging onto hope for Virgil. There was no way he was lost. He can come home, he knew the real Virgil was in there, but the rope of hope was cutting off his circulation, giving him burns, and hurting him. Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. He was tired, worn out, and numb from holding onto Virgil for so long. Patton wasn’t the kind to give up on people he loved though. He wasn’t like Logan or Roman. He wasn’t a quitter. He believed in Virgil, he was capable of good, he knew it.

The longer time went on the more and more Patton started to lose grip. There’s only so long a person can go hanging from a cliff before they slip and Patton’s hope was slipping from his grasp. His rock, his strength, and hope was getting harder and harder to hold on to and he was holding on so tight, but the end was nigh. Soon enough he’ll lose grip and fall down the cliff into realization. Rocks hitting him every which way. He just sat in his room by himself as the dark sides ran the household.

He lived in tyranny, alone.

Both of his friends had left him and he was alone to deal with the insults, distress, and physical violence from the dark sides. He himself had been a victim to Virgil and Remus several times now. He remembers last week Virgil bit him, pushed him away, and slapped him whenever he wanted to help. Even earlier this day Virgil called him stupid. Remus would play around with Patton, deliberately making him uncomfortable and grossing him out by explaining his ideas in graphic detail and even manifesting it for Patton to watch. Patton was subjected to a very real life looking figure of Thomas’ brother doing obscene things and Remus subjected him to even more than just that.

He was often facing Deceit’s silver tongue and that cut deeper than any of Virgil’s words or insults. He just felt like garbage and he even noticed the more time he spent around Virgil and the others the more difficult it was to be optimistic about anything. His chances of getting his friends back, chances of him being treated like he should be, and he just felt like a giant cloud was looming over him whenever he was next to Virgil. All hope had dissipated as he slowly realized that Roman was right.

It was always Deceit’s goal to get Thomas to listen to him more, Remus wanted Thomas to be more vulgar with his content and Virgil was always negative-

Oh my god.

Pessimism.

Virgil wasn’t anxious. He was pessimism personified.

He was…wrong? He couldn’t be- no… he did everything. He was kind, he trusted Virgil, he gave him everything, he vouched for him, he protected him, he tried to be more understanding of him, but all he got was betrayal. Maybe he was stupid for trusting Virgil. Maybe they were right in saying that he was the dumb side, the stupid side, and how he’s nothing but silly. He just wanted to do what was right- he just wanted Virgil to be okay, but he didn’t need Patton’s help. He never did. He just used him to manipulate the others and Patton felt like Virgil's hand just went through his chest and pulled out his heart.

Virgil could have stepped on his heart, locked it in a cage, and set it on fire, burned it to ashes, and Patton would have still given him everything. He was wrong to trust Virgil with his heart and now it was too late. His friends were gone, the dark sides were in control, and he was helpless against these three. He wasn’t confrontational at all and if the most brave, smart, headstrong people he’s ever known couldn’t stand a chance, then how could he? He bit his tongue as he stared at the blank wall, everything fitting into place.

A few tears fell down his face before he wiped them away. He didn’t have the right to cry, he didn’t have the right to mourn or be upset. He was an apologizer. He escalated the situation ...he let this happen. He stood up and went straight to Virgil. He just wanted what was best for him, but it unfortunately it wasn’t a mutual feeling.

“I just wanted what was best for you.” He whispered, refusing to look Virgil in the eyes

“That’s unfortunate. Not my fault you were stupid enough to believe me.” Virgil said, cruel as ever.

“I trusted you!”

“I didn’t make you! That was on you. You’re too naive. Are you sure that it’s my fault? I did nothing except be myself, you’re the one who chose to ignore everyone. You have no one to blame except yourself, Morality.”

“Goodbye…” Patton wept as he turned his back to Virgil. He wasn’t scared of Virgil physically harming him, because he’s already been stabbed by the person he cared for the most

The mistrustful side soon joined the exiled sides in Roman’s room, but they looked so different since the last time he saw them. It’s been 17 months since he’s seen Roman and 5 months since he’s seen Logan and they looked horrible. His own face seemed to be drained of life as well as he just stood in the doorway. The once strong, brave Roman who held his head with pride was wearing tattered clothes, a black sash with slits, holes, and fringed ends, the epaulettes were hanging loose on his right shoulder while the left one was hanging by a thread, and he bore a shattered, rusted, and dull crown on his head. The last detail was his emblem was replaced by a hand mirror without the reflective glass. The shards could be found next to the frame of the hand mirror and then there was Logan...

The once pristine, serious Logan was beaten down to simple sweats that haven't been washed in ages, his personal hygiene seemed to be neglected, and his entire frame was thinner. His emblem was reduced to a pair of lips with a big red X over them. Shut up and be silent. Don’t speak up. You can’t get hurt if you don’t speak up, besides, no one would listen to him anyways. The father figure fell to his knees in the door frame and they welcomed him back with open arms.

Apologies fell out of his mouth like a waterfall, tears and words of regret were the only thing that they heard from Patton for three days straight. They lost.

The three sides, Insecurity, Reticence, and Distrust, had fallen.

Someone save Thomas.


	3. All of My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have not beta read this ha, so have fun with that, but have some wholesome Roceit! I'm also a whore for ADHD/Neurodivergent Roman so you can pry that out of my hands. 
> 
> Warnings:  
> Fires/Building on Fire

If only Devyn knew how cherished he was, whenever Roman was with him the air seemed a bit clearer, the grass seemed a bit greener, and the world felt right. Whenever Roman was with him thousands of butterflies erupted through his stomach and the normal suave, charming, and flirtatious Roman was putty in the hands of the other. Devyn’s voice was so captivating, like Orpheus’ lyre that made Cerberus lay down, moved Charon to sail him across the River Styx free of charge, and even convinced Hades to send his lover home to the overworld with him. It felt as if Devyn’s voice was unmatched for any siren’s song and Roman was constantly victim to it’s beauties. If only Devyn knew how much he truly meant to Roman.

Without him, the birds don't sing the same, the trees didn’t dance in joy, nor did the rivers run with joy. Without Devyn, Roman’s life was significantly more dull, darker than any depression ever held in history, more tragic than any death in theater, heavier than any weight on any chest, and most importantly, life was less vibrant. Colors would fade into darkness, leaving Roman alone. The two of them were an experience, exploring and learning about each other and the world everyday. There was always a new adventure they could experience together, a skill they could acquire together, or even something as simple as taking a walk. As long as they were together. The two of them, kings of the world, hand and hand, taking on the world together. No matter what corners they turned, what enemies they faced, or roadblocked they faced, they are ready to do it together.

The two lovers recently had come out of a dark cave, and it was hard finding their way back to the light, but like everything, they did it together. A few months ago, Roman and Devyn had gotten caught in a fire that trapped them on the third story of an art museum. Roman remembers the fear that would forever be tattooed in his memory. He had left to go find his jacket that he left behind and then the blaring alarms filled his ears, echoing on his ear drums. Everything was overwhelming, people screaming, everyone pushing each other around to try and get out, the flash of the alarms, and the alarm that made its presence extremely well known. Then there was the constant footsteps, conversations between people, smells of cologne, perfume, and coffee and it was too much- too much- too much.

In an attempt to quell the noise and calm the oncoming storm he pressed his hands to his ears. Logically he should get out as soon as he could, but Devyn, where was he? Roman was getting too overwhelmed; he couldn’t find it in himself to even move his feet. He just held his ears and swayed his body from left to right. He needed to find Devyn- he was going to lose him! He couldn’t leave him, but how can he save his boyfriend if he was paralyzed in fear as well he was getting way too much stimulation. It was ridiculous, why couldn’t his brain just get him out of here. He needed to get to safety.

As soon as the alarms went off, Devyn's feet immediately went to leave. He’s been through many fire drills throughout his lifetime, so as scary as this was, he knew that he should get out and then find his loved ones, but as he was evacuating his mind trailed to Roman. He hoped he was able to make it out, and he had faith in his boyfriend. He had the tools to be able to handle the situation, but he did note that his boyfriend was having a particularly rough day today. Concerns started to infiltrate Devyn’s mind. Doubts and worries fluttered around Devyn’s mind like a blizzard.

He couldn’t even distinguish the differences between the rational and irrational fears as they started to file up at his feet. Should he search for him? Should he trust that Roman was safe? Should he wait to find him until he gets outside? Protocol and fire safety said yes, but his fear was louder than the alarms, people’s indistinguishable conversations, and the footsteps that felt like a wild stampede. He reminded himself not to make brash decisions, because, unfortunately, one death is better than two deaths. He couldn't just leave though, how cruel would that be? Knowing he could have gone back to save his boyfriend, but he was more concerned with his own life he didn’t even try. What if he was searching for Roman though and he was already outside.

Before Devyn knew it he was already outside of the building. He shoved people around, looking over people and trying to find Roman anywhere. Where was he? He looked for his lover and he couldn’t see him anywhere. Where was he- where was he? He felt like he was breathing out of a straw as he ran and pushed people around. Oh no- please no. The image of Roman overwhelmed in the burning building was the only thing Devyn could see. His head jerked up and stared at the smoke leaving the building.

Without a second thought, Devyn’s feet sprinted back into the building, making sure to have his bag secured on his shoulder as he pushed people out of his way ignoring the rescuers’ calls for him to halt. He did not. Should he have faith in the firefighter’s abilities? Maybe, but they didn’t know Roman like he did. They would only make the situation worse. He ran and he ran. Faster than he’s ever ran in his life. HIs legs carried him up the stairs and searched every wing of the museum. Where was he? Where was his prince? It seemed like no matter where he went in this maze he kept reaching deadend after dead end. Where was Roman?

What felt like 40 years of wandering in a desert with no direction he heard some quiet groaning. Was his sweet prince hurt? Was this even his prince? Was it someone else? Who cares? Devyn immediately followed the sound in hopes it was his precious darling, but it stopped for about ten seconds, but then there it was again. He paused and so did the groan. There it was again. It sounded like Roman was stimming- aw man he really hoped he wasn’t hurt. He followed the sounds of Roman’s groans and he found him on a bench with hands pressed on his head.

At some point, Roman had moved from a stand position to sitting with his posture hunched over as he rocked forward and backward trying to self soothe. He was angry with himself, why didn’t he just leave? He should have left with everyone else, but he just didn’t have the energy right now. The alarm was too loud, the light was distracting, the smell of fire was overwhelming, the sound of fire crackling and the sight of everything falling apart scared him too much. A ragged cough came from his lungs as he sat there overstimulated and staring at the floor.

His thoughts felt like they were slipping in and out of his control as he just sat there zoning in and out. Devyn kicked aside debris as he looked at Roman. He set his bag down and pulled out a pair of ear-defenders for his love and slipped it on his head and slowly moved Roman’s hands from his ears. The other looked at Devyn and despite being overwhelmed with all that was happening he launched himself at Devyn. The embrace of his boyfriend almost cancelling out anything else. He just needed physical touch and he needed to focus on the physical touch to help ground himself.

No only was the entire environment just a sensory hell, but his thoughts, the smoke slowly filling his lungs, but the stomach ache he was getting from feeling overwhelmed, accompanied with the headache he was getting wasn’t helping either. Roman kept himself touching Devyn and as he stood up he felt out of balance. He felt like a simple gust of wind could knock him over in a moment's notice. Devyn looked at Roman and signed to him.

“We’re going to leave now, okay?” And Roman nodded.

Roman started to walk when one of the support beams fell and before either of them knew what to do, Devyn’s instincts kicked in and pushed Roman out of the way. All the sudden a swelling pain made itself present in Devyn’s shoulder and left side of the face.

“Mother fucker.” He hissed in pain. The man’s gaze traveled to his shoulder and he saw his shirt with flames and he was quick to snuff those out.

The beam that came hurtling down at him laid next to him, cracks in the wood from the fall and the greedy flames that kept eating away at it. With his right hand he pulled down part of his sleeve to see his shoulder swollen and discolored. Great. Unfortunately, the large support beam killed two birds with one stone and his face was also in excruciating pain. Several pieces of wood had dug themselves under his skin and blisters were forming from where the flame had hit him. At least Roman was okay? He looked over to see him unscathed, thankfully. He walked over to him and took his hand, assuring him that he was okay.

Concern filled eyes flicked down to the shoulder, then Devyn’s left side of his face, and then back to his boyfriend’s eyes.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” Devyn signed. Roman wasn’t convinced, but he just squeezed Devyn’s hand.

As if the situation couldn’ get any worse, the support beam was blocking their way to get out safely. The fire expanded to other debris and trapped them. They are going to be fine, Devyn lied to himself. They were going to be fine. He would be willing to undergo the heat of a billion suns if it meant that Roman was safe. He loved Roman more than he could ever know and no matter what happend, he’d always be there for him.

Soon enough, rescuers came and took them both to the hospital, Roman got treated for any respiratory issues while Devyn was treated for his shoulder and burn scars. They were separate once again, but Roman slowly came down from the sensory overload, but now he was just exhausted. He couldn’t think of anything as the weight of sleep overtook him. He ended up sleeping for 32 full hours. His body was healing after everything as well as exhaustion finally settling in. The exhaustion always lingered for several days, like a storm cloud that wouldn't go away. The storm was over, but it was still dark and dreary for some days until Roman was able to get back up on his horse again.

Eventually he was released with Devyn and they had to keep an eye on Devyn’s burns to make sure that they didn’t get infected. Gratitude filled Roman’s heart as he gave Devyn a loving kiss on the lips.

“Well, if it isn’t my night in shining armor.” His voice filled with adoration. Devyn simply rolled his eyes as he used his right hand to gently rub Roman’s back.

“Of course, my Prince.” He hummed in return.

“I have the best boyfriend ever- he stood against the foe and saved the prince! He fought with great honor and stood and laughed in the face of adversity!” Roman continued to be extra.

“You’re too much.” Devyn shook his head, but a smile crept onto Devyns face

“But you love me.” Roman sang

“I suppose you aren’t too bad.” and then there was a laugh as Devyn was lightly pushed. “Would you push the wounded?” He gasped, feigning offense.

“Only because I love you, dearest.”

*

A week after the incident, Devyn found himself staring in a mirror, looking at his healing wounds. It was starting to scar and he gently touched it with his hands. Devyn wasn’t so shallow where he only cared about his looks, but he was somewhat prideful in his looks. He enjoyed walking into places with the best fashion and knowing damn well that he looked good. He liked knowing that he and Roman were the most attractive couple in the building, but as the scar marred his face he felt less than pretty. What would Roman think? Surely his boyfriend wasn’t that shallow. He knew that Roman also cared about looks and how they present themselves, but would it affect their relationship? He didn’t see why it should, but the fact that it wasn’t impossible plagued Devyn.

He didn’t even really care how he looked to others. He didn’t ever plan on covering his scar with makeup or anything. Other’s could stop and stare all they want and Devyn couldn’t give a damn. It wasn’t any of their businesses if he had a scar, but he did care about what Roman thought. If Roman found it disgusting or repulsive then he would cover it. He shouldn’t be altering his appearance for one boy, but Roman was the best thing that ever happened to him. Would Roman find the scar tissue unpleasant? Would Roman find him ugly? Even though beauty was subjective, he wanted Roman to approve of him. No one else mattered other than his prince.

Why did he even care about what Roman thought? Three years ago if you asked if he would ever cover a scar, uneven skin tone, or wear makeup for anyone he would have said no. He wears makeup for himself and himself only, so what happened? Why did he care so much about what one person thought of him? He was never one to please or accommodate others, but here he was, standing in front of a mirror, and staring at his scar that was healing. He sighed at the thought of Roman hating his scar. Roman wouldn't, would he?

He rolled his eyes. Fuck this- why did he care so much...He didn’t need Roman. He didn’t care if Roman hated his scar or not. Except he did. He’s never had anyone care for him like Roman has. He’s never felt like he belonged. He was always an outsider looking into everyone’s groups and relationships. Everyone spread rumors about him and no one was smart enough to think and form an opinion of themselves. They just took what others said as fact and fell victim to the psychological phenomena of groupthink. Roman was the only one to actually reach out to him and get to know him for who he was and not the lies that others spread about him.

Everyone turned him away and he was fine with that. He’s been dealing with that since he was in highschool, but if the only person who ever gave him a chance decided that he was going to leave because of something as superficial as beauty then he was wrong about him. He had invested so much into the past three years of this relationship and if he was wrong about Roman and he turned away from him then he wouldn't know what he’d do.

Roman soon found Devyn staring at himself in the mirror and while it wasn’t something completely out of the ordinary, Roman just felt like something was wrong. He walked in and he met Devyn’s eyes in the mirror.

“Why the long face?” Roman asked, reaching out to grab Devyn’s hand

No response.

“Dev.” Roman whispered. “C’mon, tell me what’s wrong, please?” Roman encouraged. “I can’t help you unless you actually communicate with me.”

“Do you think the scar is gross?” Devyn askes, heart pounding, anticipating Roman’s response. He was ready for the worst and he was ready for Roman to tell him that it was disgusting and that he couldn’t bear to look at it, but that never happened.

“No! Of course no, Dev. Is that what you’re worried about?” He asked looking at his boyfriend. “Look, I’m so thankful for you and you’re beautiful no matter what okay?” Roman reassured.

“It’s not a beauty or self confidence thing.” Devyn mumbled.

“Then what is it, my love?” Roman asked.

No response.

“Look, Dev. I love you, so much, and I would never judge you or stop dating you just because you have this scar. I love you and you are my hero. You went back into a burning building to find me, and took the hit for me. This scar, as cheesy as it sounds, is a story. The time a daring hero named Devyn ran into danger to save his prince. As much as I say that you are my knight in shining armor that came and swept me off my feet, you’re really my long lost prince from another kingdom. You are not a simple servant, but you are a prince. My prince. So, keep your head up dear, be proud. This isn’t some injury, but it represents bravery, courage, and an act of true love.” Roman gushed.

Roman continued to talk to Devyn as he now held his face in his hands, “Be the proud Devyn I know you are. I know that you would never let anyone bother you about something as little as a scar. You are so much more than this. You are the man who speaks his mind, fights agaisnt injustice, leads protests and marches. You're amazing Devyn. There’s so much more to you that I love and your face is only a fraction of a bigger picture. While it certainly is a plus, it’s not the only reason I’m dating you. The life of Devyn Meyer is such a more interesting story than just another pretty face. Keep you head high, my prince, because I’ll love you to infinity…” He whispered, trailing off.

“...and beyond.” Devyn choked back, tears falling down his face. Roman loved him, for him. He was right. Roman wasn’t like the others. Roman cared about Devyn’s character and not what rumors and lies spread across town. He managed to find the best boyfriend ever.

That wasn’t the first time Devyn needed reassuring, but Roman didn’t mind reminding Devyn how amazing he was. As time went on, doubts always managed to find their way into both of their minds but they were always quick to extinguish the lies and reveal the truth. Even if Devyn often felt less than adequate, repulsed by his own image, or even when the talk of the town and attacks on social media got too much. Roman was always there to remind Devyn how much he loved him. Roman wrote songs, poems, and even created metaphors to illustrate how much he loved Devyn.

Roman was never able to fully express just how much his boyfriend meant to him. There was no outrageous act of love or over the top romantic metaphors that could convey how much he cared for his boyfriend. Even in seas of doubt and storms of diminished self worth, Roman always stayed. Unlike the other in Devyn’s life who left and made his life awful, Roman was a constant he could trust. He loved Roman and Roman loved him. He never fully understood why Roman gave him a chance after all the disgusting rumors he heard, but Devyn was grateful. While Devyn may not truly know to the fullest extent how much he is loved by Roman, the same goes for his boyfriend, Roman will never know how much Devyn loves him as well.


	4. Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SVS pt2 Spoilers!!!
> 
> \- self-hate  
> \- I think it could be classified as depersonalization?  
> \- Roman angst  
> \- I wrote this like, 45 minutes after finishing SVS pt two on May 1st and forgot to post it here aaaa

The world was crashing down like a sandcastle, and everything was falling apart. He could never do anything right, and that was a fact. He didn’t understand, he sided with Janus during the courtroom, and Virgil yelled at him. Okay, so that didn’t work out, let’s try a different approach. This time, he stood against Janus and the serpent still led to his demise. No matter what he did it ended up with him being in the wrong. What are you supposed to do when nothing is in your favor? What do you do when your emotions feel like the weight of a thousand wrongs crush your lungs? What do you do when you try to breathe, and no matter how much medicine you take, your airways feel like they are constricting more and more each second. Roman felt hopeless.

How do you be good? What good is a hero when his own desires are corrupted by self-interest? The death of a hero is nigh and he wasn’t ready to lay down and rest. He wanted Thomas to be a good person, and he thought he was...he thought he was leading Thomas to do what was right in the courtroom, but he was wrong. He was wrong and he was wrong. Everything he does is wrong and he can never be enough for Thomas. His desires were corrupted and he just wanted to go back to the callback and the only thing he succeeded in doing was causing Thomas to feel guilty about his dreams. What good is a hero who can’t even make simple moral decisions? The prince stormed off to the bathroom after the video and stared at himself in the mirror.

Who was he? He doesn’t recognize himself anymore. He was to blame for Thomas’ lack of motivation and drive to do good. He had been in the driver's seat for too long and it was time to step out. A tear fell down his face, leaving a monochrome year stain. More fell down, streaks of whites, greys, and blacks replaced the tan skin of the prince. The reflection in the mirror stared back at him. He didn’t know who the man in the mirror was. Who’s hair is that? Whose soul was captured in his broken eyes? His complexion, facial features, and body seemed unfamiliar. The mirror is distorted, making fun of him. He didn’t know who he was and the mirror was cruel in the truth. More tears rolled down his face leaving more and more stains of black and white.

Stripped down. His title of a hero? Stripped away. His moral compass? Shattered. His sense of self? Gone. Was he truly becoming the monster he never wished to be? The beast with hairy features and teeth sharp enough to pierce through skin? Has he grown horns and did he relish in the dark? Was he who he said he was? He didn’t know anymore. His reflection mocked him. Soulless red eyes flickered into his reflection as well as a rapidly growing mustache. His hair started to fade into white and his clothes were black and green. Vermin. Vermin, vermin, vermin. Overwhelmed with self-hatred Roman pulled at his hair and clumps were now right within his grip.

You’re not good enough. You’re just like him. Evil. Vermin. Villain. No good. Inadequate. Stupid. He was through. The reign of Prince Roman Creativity Sanders had fallen. The prince’s breathing was heavy and unsteady, not unsimilar to that of an asthmatic. He can't be- he can’t. He’s not evil! He’s not! He’s not. He’s not.

He’s not.

Hours passed, him staring in the mirror. The longer he looked, the more strange and distant his reflection became. A stranger to himself. His nose was too big, his jaw was too round, his hair was too grey, he was too curvy, and his eyes were too dull. What did Thomas want from him? He didn’t know. All he knew is, he didn’t like what he saw in the mirror. He saw deformities, ugliness, distorted body parts and he couldn’t take it anymore. Overwhelmed, he punched the mirror only to see more fragments of himself, yet shattered. A different reflection in each piece of glad. A different monster for each flaw he had.

Selfish. Cruel. Not enough. Uncreative. Failure. Ignorant. Prideful. Shame. Imperfect. Annoying. Needy. Clingy. Disgusting. Useless. Pitiful.

The list could go on. He was sure Logan had an alphabetized color-coded list of all the wrongs he’s done. I matter what he did, it never seemed professional or good enough for him. Whatever he created it always fell short. He couldn’t do this. He was driving Thomas off a cliff of aging, despite, and selfish desires. He had to let someone else take the wheel. He clearly wasn’t meant or cut out for this role. He’ll never pass as a perfect creativity. Maybe...maybe this wasn’t for him.

He ran them faucet, running his hand under the painfully cold water, immediately turning into monochrome as if an Instagram filter had been out over him. He was his hands, then his wrists, elbows, and then his face. Grey. He turned on the shower and came out completely bland. He was never meant to be a prince. He could never be a hero and he was failing everyone. He never did anything right. The crown of a prince always felt like it was crooked and shattered, but now any remains of the old creativity was gone.

The wicked prince was dead and from the ashes an entity unknown to man.

As if Roman couldn’t recognize himself before, he really didn’t recognize himself. He couldn’t stand looking in the mirror, a reminder of everything he is and isn’t. With the wave of his hand, the mirror turned to back, and Roman faded too. Even if he did shift traits, his personality is corrupt. His personality is evil. He isn’t good and he surely isn’t good enough for Thomas. So here he will stay until the day may arrive where he is deemed worthy again. Until that day, here he’ll stay, far away, and wait until he was loved.


	5. When Curtains Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for SVS pt 2 
> 
> \- This is a poem I wrote on May 3rd  
> \- Roman Angst

The End.

The Audience has left and

The curtains have closed.

The lights dim, but Roman’s

Heart was dimmer.

Lies, lies, lies

Just another disguise to hide

The Pain.

Hate, hate, hate

Just a way to conceal

Inadequacy.

The lonely walk to his dressing room,

Was darker than his drive,

Duller than his pride,

And lower than his excitement for this life.

A lack of understanding in his life,

Zero confidence for his life,

Took it out on the others to rid the

Parasite that resides in his mind.

Magic Mirror on the Wall

Will the prince ever feel truly loved

At all?

Magic Mirror in front of thee

Will the others ever truly see

How broken his crown can be.

Tape and Glue for the cracks

In his ego.

Paint and Polish to cover

His insecurity.

Shine and Buff to rid of the

Embarrassing smudges.

The shattered crown.

The Prince spends days, hours, weeks

Tending to his crown.

Piece by Piece

But a band aid won't heal

Cracks in the gold.

The fissures will only grow

The more the crown undergoes.

One day closer to being

Unsalvageable.

The Performance is over.

For Today.

Tomorrow he must rehearse

And perform again.

A never ending cycle.

No understudies to catch him when he falls.

No Director to guide him where to go.

He was alone in a one man play.

The Prince still projected his heart.

The Audience thinks nothing of it.

Dramatic and quixotic as always.

The Prince seeks assistance,

But the other actor only used him for

Fame.

The show must go on.

The Audience shouldn’t know.

If he has a sad day,

He can’t let it show.

If self confidence is low, or

His heart’s filled with woe.

The Prince must simply

Sew on a smile.

Work harder.

The Actor cried.

Reflection in the mirror,

Distorted in his mind.

Mistakes and failures,

Never what he expected

And never quite what he wanted.

It’s his own expectations

that is keeping him stunted.

He must strive for the perfect performance

Because he wants to feel wanted.

But if he can't prove his worth,

What will The Audience think of him?

Be the perfect actor.

Put on a flawless performance.

Be on time, and think of

The Audience’s demands.

Be Honest and Brave.

Timely and Astute.

Cautious and Aware.

Courageous and Daring.

Experimental and Outrageous.

Selfish in moderations.

And Perfect.

The day comes to an end

But the Prince doesn’t leave.

The Theater his home and

He’s always ready to perform.

Any moment and any day.

The audience dictates,

When they get to see his play.

“Be who they want you to be.

Make them like you.

If they fall in love with the character…

...soon will apply to you too.”

The Prince laid his head

Down into his arms.

He is tired and exhausted.

Always trying to please.

He lost his identity in trying to be

The Audiences’ perfect dream.

The sun rises again,

But his heart remains in

The dark of night.

He gets ready for the day.

His acting is trite.

Exhausted.

“Here we go, once more.”

Grab the mask and change

Put on a false personality.

more elaborate than any costume.

Ready? Set-

Perform, no.

Lie.

Lie about his family.

Lie about his desires.

Lie about his heart.

Lie about his worth.

Lie about his ideas.

Lie about his health.

Lie.

Lie.

Lie.

_Lights! Curtains!_

_**Lie!** _


End file.
